There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
