If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
