I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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