I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize