I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize