you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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