as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize