I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.