it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion