If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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