Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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