Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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