Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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