And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
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Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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