i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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