She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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