i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
