I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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