Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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