with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
