do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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