Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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