He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
