Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
