he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
