I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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