Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
