Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
