Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
