Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
