He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
