Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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