You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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