I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
