i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
