Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
