she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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