I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
