he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize