There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
sex in a hospital.. check
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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