4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
fuck your aforementioned shoe
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
