he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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