We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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