i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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