she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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