This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My liver just had a heart attack.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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