Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
