is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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