I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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