fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
never play flip cup with pint glasses
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Pants are for mortals
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
