So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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