I hate your face
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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