Already got asked if we're dating
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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