im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
