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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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