I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
too bad you live with your parents still
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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