are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
NoShamevember. You game?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
