when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh god the rape fog is back!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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