That's intense
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
