I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My balls are so social today.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize